San Antonio 122, Sacramento 88 (Game One)

I don’t wanna be cruel, but anytime Brent Barry and Nazr Mohammed have combined for nearly 50 minutes of playing time, you can safely assume a) someone on the Spurs was badly hurt or b) the opposition is being slaughtered.

Today, you can pick “b”.

(Nazr (hearts) garbage time, especially when there’s so damn much of it)

While this was far and away the worst defeat in Sacramento playoff history, I’m wishing my hotline to the Elias Sports Bureau hadn’t been disconnected. When was the last time a team trailed by 34 points at halftime of an NBA playoff game?

In desperation, I’ve phoned the Elias Koteas Bureau…and been asked never to ring again.

My sincere condolences to my friends in the land of Go-Go and straight edge after observing LeBron James’ incredible individual performance against the Wizards earlier today. If there’s any consolation, Wizznutzz, you’ll be glad to know that Mike Francesca thinks there’s something screwy about none of LeBron’s closer personal advisors being college grads. Said statements were uttered the day before Francesca fawned all over Michael Jordan (North Carolina, Class of….uh, whatever) during a telephone interview.

Tonight’s First Round / Game One tilt between the Heat and Da Bulls is being showcased by ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN360 and almost certainly those ESPN telephones that the restraining-order dude in the Bristol parking lot speaks so highly of. They’re calling this “Full Circle” coverage, which, I think is a very diplomatic way of saying it takes more than one screen to properly feature Michael Sweetny.