Mets 7, Braves 2

On second thought, no thanks. I’d rather see today’s Oliver Perez turn up once a week. The enigmatic former Pirate struck out 9 Braves and walked none over 6.2 innings, allowing just a paired of earned runs and lowering his ERA to 3.31. Who says those deep tissue massages from Rick Peterson aren’t helpful?

While supersubs Damon Easley and Ramon Castro each homered, Carlos Beltran was just a long ball shy of the cycle, going 4 for 5 with a pair of RBI’s, raising his batting average to .385. Jose Reyes was almost as impressive, chipping in with a double a solo HR and his 9th stolen base.

“Please tell me you heard Keith Hernandez’s soliloquy about the Moody Blues and their absence from the Rock And Roll Hall of Fame during today’s afternoon telecast,” writes Sean Fennessey. “Gary Cohen defied Hernandez’s taste in a brazen act. Tremendous.”

Funny, you’d think Keith’s years in St. Louis would’ve led to an affinity with that city’s finest cultural exponents. Then again, Mex did miss the Strangulated Beatoffs by a wide margin.

A 40 year old man was arrested at Shea last night and was charged with violating the Calvin Klein Law. “Somebody could get blinded,” complained Atlanta’s Tim Hudson, who should know a thing or two about getting poked in the eye.

Strangely OK with press coverage of his activities in the world of thoroughbred racing, Captain Red Ass would like you to know That Was No Woman, That Was Someone’s Teenage Daughter.  Or something like that.

Congrats to Yankee prospect Brett Smith, who held the Mets’ Eastern League Binghamton affiliate hitless over 7 innings earlier today, in Trenton’s 7-4 win.