First off, I’d like to sent a hearty, heaping helping of COCK SOUP to these hotlinking bandwidth thieves. Bon appetit, motherfuckers!

A similar invitation is extended to the entire mailing list of Our Book Of Scrap. Sir Scrap aka Doug Schekler, bulk emailed a link earlier today to a particularly revelatory bit of investigative journalism on his part, to wit, didja know the Dinah Shore Classic is kinda popular with lesbians?

Holy shit. Just when I’ve gotten my head around the notion there are persons who get off with those of the same sex (y’know, kind of like an all-dude mailing list, only less lame), I’m supposed to believe there’s somewhere in America where they are allowed to congregate freely?

(If you want me to believe said gathering exists for any reason other than to provide titillation for a bunch of guys, that’s obviously going way too far.)

What ensues next is a series of dopier-than-death emails about Carmen Elektra and is-she-or-isn’t-she the latest paramour of Joan Jett.

Had I not heard the local sports yutz hosts beating off on the radio about the exact same topic a week ago….this still wouldn’t have passed for stimulating correspondence.

I have politely asked to be excused from this debate of the mental midgets…yet the hits keep on coming.

Here’s a newsflash for you assholes : perhaps there’s someone out there over the age 12 who actually gives a hoot about whether you think Joan Jett is hot enough to bag Carmen Elektra. That someone isn’t me. Unless and until you’re ready to put your own cocks on the block, so to speak (amazing how few of these clowns include photos of themselves on their blogs), who the heck are you to be passing judgement on JJ’s viablity?

fuck off and die, etc.