USA Today’s Bob Nightengale claims that Seattle is on the verge of signing Carl Everett. Replies Tim Cook,

Though I refuse to believe it, even if Undesputed Hot Stove Champion Ken Rosenthal were to have made first mention. Besides the homophobia, declining defensive value, and a personality far too colorful for comfort for Safeco, the M’s seem commited to Jeramy Reed in center and Raul Ibanez at DH. At least until the Yankees let them convert Reed into Carl Pavano, for some unknown reason.