OK, that’s not exactly what syndicated scribe Norman Chad had to say about yesterday’s horror show on CBS, but y’know, close enough. Of college hoops in general, Chad declares, “they just round up the usual suspects every year…the game is rotten at its core; it’s only cheating if you get caught, and if you get caught, you’re only liable if you’re losing.”

I wouldn’t watch it even if Chris Rock were hosting; besides, it’s about as rigged as the Oscars. What, I need to room with Jay Bilas to know that Kansas and North Carolina are going to be No. 1 seeds?

Plus, back in the day, we’d get the entire bracket in 30 minutes on CBS – it was the most efficient half-hour on television. Now, the whole shebang has bloated to 120 minutes. Hey, I’m not sitting there for two hours to see what the 8-9 matchup in the Southeast Regional is unless they throw in a good cassoulet recipe and El Chapo makes a surprise appearance on set.

(Column Intermission: We now present our annual literary excerpt from serial author John Feinstein, who has cleared more forests with more bad prose than any scribe in America. In his latest college basketball tome, “The Legends Club,” he writes, “Elephants – and coaches – never forget.” Here it is again in case you missed it the first time: “Elephants – and coaches – never forget.” Available in bookstores everywhere!)